Ya Gotta Eat

Fijian cuisine is all over the place.

Where else in the world can a traveler eat traditional Fijian, Curry, Indian, Chinese, British, Chicken Burgers, Pizza and McDonald's all in the same town? And, these dishes are available in places that are not even the capitol, nor largest city, of this island country.

As I begin this particular chapter of the blog, I should make the following admission. Cracker Barrel and Waffle House are still a few years away from hanging their shingles in this far-away land. So, if you're looking for an Uncle Hershel's Breakfast entree, or something "Scattered and Smothered," you won't find it here. What you will find might, indeed, be scattered or smothered, but in a MUCH different fashion than you are prepared for.

A trip to Fiji should always include in your carry-on or checked luggage plenty of Immodium or Lomotil. You WILL get some version or degree of, "running stomach," either while you are there - or shortly thereafter. Plan on it. Begin taking some sort of intestinal regulator after your very first meal.

Trust me, you will thank me for this advice. Repeatedly.

Fijians and Indians have cast iron in their digestive systems. They would have to in order to eat what they eat. Genuine Indian Curry is some of the spiciest stuff on earth. And, Fijian "Rockete" Peppers are hotter than any Cayenne or Jalapenos that ever came out of Tijuana.

But, you didn't come seven thousand miles to play it safe. Go ahead and test the waters of the local food chain, but by wading in slowly versus diving in head first. But, before taking this plunge, a few observations might be helpful - as I sit here at my computer battling an after-the-fact case of some of the worst barnyard trots one could ever imagine.

The Fijian diet is heavy in starch and sugar. This is why diabetes is an epidemic among islanders. The Fijian dalo is the island equivalent of the American potato. But, with two significant differences. The dalo has a purple tinge to it, in contrast to the brown appearance of our potato. The second difference is the taste. Your first bite of dalo will remind you of the time your mother washed out your mouth with Ivory soap. Dalo has the same consistency as Ivory, and the taste is also in the same family.

Eat it anyway. They do. And, it doesn't kill them.

Next on the Fijian menu is the seafood.

Their fish comes in several varieties, including eel. Most of it cooks up, when they do cook it, with a sort of "dead" gray look to it. They slit the fish down his back, and lay him open on the plate. Careful, careful. Them Fijian fish is just chock full of tiny little bones. And, them bones is brittle. They will get inside your mouth before you can say, "scat." Chew the fish an extra few times before swallowing. Fish bones don't do well once inside the colon.

The other thing to watch out for when eating Fijian fish is that much of it is served raw. And, please don't confuse Fijian raw with the Sushi you eat down at your local Chinese restaurant. This raw smells to the high heavens, and it has a sticky consistency to it. If you dare to tread in these culinary waters, hold your nose and take small bites at first. And, be sure to wash the raw fish down with a healthy swig of Pepto Bismol (which you also remembered to pack in your checked bag, didn't you?).

Truthfully, you will find fried fish in Fiji, but only in restaurants that serve Chinese food, or in places that offer the staple of all Brits - fish & chips. When you find one of these places, eat hearty with little or no fear.

In the cities of Nadi and Suva, on the main island of Viti Levu, McDonald's has come to town. The food tastes very similar to Mickey D's in America, but the ambiance of being served by an all Indian staff of cooks and workers is just a little different.  The menu is mostly the same basic fare as in America, but without the wide array of choices. Ketchup packets cost .10 cents each. And, there are no free refills on soft drinks, gringo.

Just be glad you are not drinking Fijian Kool-Aid with your meal.

Which brings me to a final word of caution for the traveler's tummy.

As they say, "don't drink the water."

Unless the following is true...

The water has been heated and/or boiled - as in the brewed coffee that hotel restaurants serve. The coffee, as mentioned earlier, is excellent. It will not hurt you. If you have a bit of a British bone in you, hot tea is also a common menu item.

The water is in a square shaped bottled and it says, "FIJI," on the outside. Fiji brand water is available here in the states, and it is excellent. It is the same there. I have been to the bottling plant for this water. The source truly is an Artesian well located just outside of Suva. It is some of the purest water on earth. Fiji water is not quite as expensive in Fiji as it is here in the states, but whatever the price - pay it.

And, if you are served a glass of ice cubes in a restaurant along with your soft drink, go ahead and pass on the ice. Drink your Coke or whatever straight out of the bottle or can (through a straw). The ice carries and preserves the same parasite that lives in their normal water supply. Consume the ice, and the parasite will consume you.

Trust me. It is a fact.

Other than these precautions, embrace and enjoy the local food.

The fruit is garden fresh and the purest and sweetest on the planet. The Chinese restaurants are authentic and usually excellent, but remember that cat is a delicacy in China. We saw few cats in Fiji. My fellow travelers observed that this might be a bad sign - just as we were chowing down on the, "Cashew Chicken," in a local Chinese restaurant.

Again, just close your eyes and trust that it really is chicken that you're eating.

And, if all of this gets to be too much for your spoiled American palate, drive down to one of the local grocery stores or supermarkets (as they call them). Chances are they will have cans of Pringles Potato Chips on the shelf, or "fmf" brand cookies from New Zealand. Either of these will tide a tummy over just fine until a tolerable meal can be found.

Livin' on Fiji time will both challenge and reward the hearty, but cautious, eater. And, if you do get, "running stomach," just chalk it up as part of the experience. Immodium and Lomotil are great remedies for what ails you.

Just don't get too far from a toilet until they kick in.

Ni sa Moce.